Bombay, baby! And Adventures in Rajasthan

Holly here! Before I get to Bombay, I must tell you about this charming man we met on our last day in Hampi. (Weak? Yes, sorry.) Anyway, it was amazing/slightly scary. Obviously they've been de-venomed, but still... IS HE MAD?!!


We got an overnight, "luxy-semi-sleeper A1, top class, super-duper bus" to Mumbai, and I woke up just as we were driving into the outskirts of the city. The first thing we saw were slums, as far as the eye could see. It was early morning and people were getting up from their 'beds' on the pavement and brushing their teeth by the kerb. Children sat in piles of rubbish, playing with dogs that quite frankly you wouldn't let a child near in England. It's difficult to write about the poverty that we've only really caught a glimpse of here. The enormous slums in the middle of Mumbai are home to millions. Row upon row of shacks made of cardboard and corrugated iron, with 10 people living in a rooms the size of a garden shed. What I'd happily spend on an ice-cream would feed a family for over a week. Once we'd driven past the slums and were into the centre of town, it was a very different Bombay that we experienced. But it's important not to forget the other, very real, Mumbai.


We were only there for 3 days, but I really enjoyed every moment. Even the hot, smelly, overpriced room we stayed in grew on me. Or perhaps I'm just saying that in retrospect. We hit the city hard, we walked and walked and walked, taking it all in. We went to the Prince of Wales Museum, which was very like the V&A. (see right) It was very stuffy and quite taxing. (SORRY!) There was a brilliant audio-guide, which was very funny - although I'm not sure it meant to be.

We wandered for hours around the colourful, smelly, hot, busy and very exciting labyrinth of markets and bazaars in the backstreets. (We found a jar of Marmite for 120 rps. We've been carrying it around like a pot of gold, since.) We definitely would have got lost if it weren't for Sam's excellent sense of direction.

We ended up coming across a scene of total colourful chaos outside a Hindu temple. We were grabbed by a policeman and loudly and very indiscreetly ushered into the temple, as if we were VIP's, ahead of all the worshipers. It was very embarrassing, but quite amazing once we were in there.




We popped our heads in at the VERY grand Taj hotel. The closest we got to experiencing the luxury was using the loo. And a very nice loo it was too.


We got asked to be extras in a Bollywood film about 30 times. They were amazed that we a) didn't want to stand around in the heat ALL day doing nothing b) we don't like Bollywood. We did see one scene being shot outside the Gateway of India. As always in India there were millions of people there and not a lot happening.

We went to the train station to book our onward tickets. The above scene amused me.

And below is a cricket match taking place in the middle of the city.


We're in Rajasthan now... and it's HOT, HOT, HOT. I'll hand over to Mr Bridger for an update. We all know how he loves to update....

You’re coming from?……….England……..London Bridge is burning down lovely jubbly! You’re coming from?……….England……..London Bridge is burning down lovely jubbly! You’re coming from?……….England……..London Bridge is burning down lovely jubbly!

A ten second slice of life as a tourist in India for you there. We’ve been asked where we’re from so many times that we’ve begun to do odd things like forget or accidentally lie. Probably the brain trying to keep itself interested. It gets very tiresome. Although one street vendor kid the other day did the whole ‘london bridge is falling down lovely jubbly’ gig and when he realised it wasn’t getting much reaction he resorted to a slightly more avant garde ‘that’s asda price!’ and slapped his arse twice. His extra effort was appreciated.

This is us on the train up to Rajahstan from Mumbai. We decided to splash out and go executive class for a laugh. The food just kept on coming and the ice cream (which didnt seem to turn liquid even when melted) was a bit too much for me...Holly liked it.

Rajahstan is like a different country. Its landscape is predominantly desert and its extremely beautiful not to mention boiling. A hole melted in the middle of the road a few days ago when it was 45 degrees. Theres not a lot you can do in that heat.

Rajahstan is a state with a great history of royalty which most city's cash in on in the form of luxury hotels in old palaces and 'fancy goods'. This is well known. What is less well advertised is the fact that everyone here seems to belch and fart in public at will, to a degree i have never experienced anywhere in the world. Its hilarious and we still havent quite got used to it.

Imagine... if you will ...sitting down awaiting your meal in a restaurant and having the waiter placing your meal delicately infront of you whilst belching in your face. what? eh? it just doesnt compute. The reflex to gag and the reflex to laugh get confused and usually results in an odd contortion of the face. Or imagine sitting in a train carriage and seeing an elderly lady letting rip opposite you...not one eyebrow is raised. im not sure whether its brilliant or awful...either way we're certainly not in kansas anymore.




Our first port of call was Udaipur. The picture above was taking from our balcony....yes we had a balcony. Its a desert city set around a lake and its absolutely magic. One evening we saw hundreds upon hundreds of bats flying past us and a full moon at eye level. Brilliant.

This was our rooms interior. All the architecture has a very islamic feel to it. It reminded me of Marrakesh...not that i've ever been there.



All for 6 quid a night!

Udaipur is where Octopussy was shot and dont you dare forget it while you're there! Every restaurant in town starts the Octopussy screening at 7pm sharp...and at 7.45 pm sharp the DVD player breaks...perhaps that was just us though.

Thats Holly in the solid marble Octopussy pool at the Taj Palace. We paid 3 quid to get in for an afternoons swimming. Thats a fair wack in India...but it was worth every penny. And below is another picture of the palace. It is a labyrinthe of tiny winding corridors and suprise courtyards. Incredibly beautiful.



One night we were walking about telling people where we were from and a Rajahstani wedding came marching down the street. Marching band, kids holding lightbulbs, more kids behind pushing the generator and a dashing, slightly nervous looking young groom on a horse in the middle.

Notice the sword. Probably a cheap do by Indian marital standards.

We then bused for 6 hours up to Jodhpur, another desert city for a couple of days. The fort there is HUGE, it dominates the city. Its like looking at Ayers rock...you can just feel it even when you cant see it. But apart from that not a lot can be said for the place as we spent most of our time shielding ourselves from the heat in our haveli. We got another 6 hour bus to Jaisalmer where we stayed inside the walls of the old city fort. I couldnt help but feel slightly like Indiana Jones walking around the bazaar in the old city fort. I half expected a man with a cobra on his head and one eye to challenge me to a dual. Unfortunately they didnt sell whips. What they do do in Jaisalmer is camel treks in the Thar desert. This is Holly and I with our loyal steeds.
Holy mother of Sudocrem these beasts chaffed. A couple of hours on a camel is a torture i would wish on no man. But the desert was beautiful. So quiet. And when we got to the sand dunes and the sun was setting we almost stopped feeling the burn.

Anyway...better go. Think we've just spent a days budget on the internet. Off to watch some Indian Premier League cricket next week which we are VERY excited about.

Namaste!

Bangalore, Burgers and Belly ache

Greetings Friends.

We've had some highs and lows since we last wrote. From the dizzy heights of the 13th Floor cocktail lounge in Bangalore, to the desperate lows on our hands and knees in the bathroom। Yes: we got sick।

But before we go into that, a few words on our last days in Kerala. Kochi was HOT HOT HOT and very humid. We took a lovely walk in Fort Cochin down to Jew Town and enjoyed looking in all the wonderful old shops full of antiques and caught a glimpse of the world of a spice trader. Fort Cochin is beautiful. The Chinese fishing nets are particularly unusual. Sam had a go helping the fishermen.

They caught a very small Barracuda, if anyone's interested

After a few days exploring it was time to leave Kerala behind us and head inland to the city of Bangalore in Karnataka, where we had been invited by माय family friend Natalie and her boyfriend, Goz, to stay for a few days. We were pretty excited about going to 'The Cocktail Town' - where the young, hip and newly rich Indian's live the high life।

Our train got us into Bangalore at 4.30am on Monday morning and Nats VERY kindly woke up to let us in. We thought we'd died and gone to heaven as she showed us our own lovely big bedroom with en-suite bathroom,a bed that we didn't need to check for bed-bugs and clean तोवेल्स. After a few hours sleep we got up and spent the morning catching up with Natalie and enjoying things like being able to make a cup of tea in their lovely kitchen, hanging out on the balcony, the sofa, watching their big TV and WASHING OUR CLOTHES. Western home comforts are ridiculously exciting when you haven't had them for almost 2 months. We got a 'Ricky' (as we now 'amusingly' call them) to an American style diner for some lunch and had our first bit of meat since being in India. A cheese burger. It was SOOOOOOO good. Nat then took us to Gourmet Foods - the shop that Natalie loves, to buy some supplies. A 'half way decent' bottle of red wine costs 500 RPS from Gourmet Foods. We've been spending that on a 'pricey' nights accommodation, but if you're thinking in pounds - it's just over 6 quid, so not too bad. We decided to think in pounds while in Bangalore! We had a lovely evening in - our first glass of red wine since coming to India, pasta and pesto with Parmesan. The next couple days were spent eating, exploring Bangalore's fancy (oh my gosh, so fancy) hotels and shops and arguing with Ricky drivers. The law in Bangalore says they have to use their metres. They don't like using their metres and see white tourists as prime 'mug' material. Sam takes exception to this.

This is us in the back on a particularly amazing Ricky। 'Pimp My Ricky'. Westwood would be proud. The driver (a bit of a 'card') had decked his rickshaw out with a padded interior and it had a sound system - which he proudly switched on a blared the most terrible Bollywood music so loudly that everyone on the street turned to stare at us. We loved it. Until he whacked an 'idiot tax' on our bill and it ended in another argument।

Wednesday night was cocktail night. Goz got off work early and we headed to Ruby Tuesday's for 2 for 1 cocktails.

From there we moved on to the 13th Floor - a top floor bar in the highest building in Bangalore (they don't built that high here!)। The doorman told us that it was full and if we didn't have a reservation we couldn't get in (oh, so L।A.) but Goz charmed them and we managed to get a table on the balcony overlooking the bright lights of the city. From there we moved on to the Hard Rock Cafe. By this stage I can honestly say we'd totally forgotten we were in India. This is a million miles away from Chennai and our first impressions of hot, smelly, poverty stricken India. George Harrison's sitar hung along side some t-shirt that the someone in the Black Eyed Peas wore once, signed photos of Madonna hung next to one of Elton John's cat-suits. And The Menu, Oh! The Menu. Burgers and Cocktails of every kind. We were living the Indian High Life.

This is me, look how pleased with myself I look.

Let this be a lesson to you children Gluttony is a sin. Pride comes before a fall. Hubris was inevitable. I can hardly bring myself to look at this photograph. I'm sure I don't need to go into the details of what happened next. We woke up at 4am and our fate was sealed. NO, we wouldn't be catching the night train to Hampi that night. NO, we wouldn't be leaving the bathroom for 24 hours and then the sofa for another 3 days. YES, we would watch the entire DVD box set of 'The Long Way Round' with Ewan McGregor and the entire first series of The Tudors and countless movies. Nat and Goz (Who Didn't Get Sick!) were very kind and let us stay in their flat over the weekend even though they were going away, and we will never be able to express how grateful we were to be in a lovely home rather than a dreadful hostel. It was a few days we don't really want to remember.

You will all be delighted to hear that we did survive the terrible episode and we are now in Hampi, which is a beautiful ruined Hindu city set in an extraordinary landscape, covered in massive boulders. It's like being on the set of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or the Flintstones. It's very, very hot here - which means we've done a lot of lolling about. Luckily there are lots of interesting and fun people here to loll with. Here are some highlights in pictures.

Tomorrow we leave for Mumbai. We've had a last moment change of heart and decided to shun Goa. We'd rather spend more time in Nepal. So we're saying good-bye to beaches and good-bye to South India. Look out The North.